A son is a son until he gets a wife; a daughter is a daughter all her life. What’s your take?
But still, we give her away in Kanyadan and ultimately the sad bidai happens…
India is a predominantly patriarchal society comprising narrow-minded folks who believe in redundant rituals like Kanyadan and Bidai. Hindu marriages follow the practice of Kanyadan wherein an unmarried girl is given away by her family as a charity, however, if we look at it from the lens of the bride’s family it is a noble deed because we give away something extremely dear to us. And then sad bidai takes place when the girl is required to leave her maternal home and fit into a new culture.
This redundant practice is passed on from one generation to another and we absorb it without questioning. Girls are not given a choice to select where they want to stay after marriage; this ritual is plastered on them that she has to move into her husband’s house and live with his family.
Any guesses why?
Because we don’t question such irrational practices. As a society, we should ask the girl where she wants to stay after marriage. If she is comfortable living with her husband’s family, then the matter is resolved but if she doesn’t want to leave her parents’ home she should have a right to voice her opinion.
Unfortunately, this does not happen in reality.
We are hypocrites if we still call ourselves an equal society.
The primary reason is due to the prevalence of patrilineal customs which we as a society have imbibed naturally. These customs are deeply rooted in our culture and have become an unsaid law of the land. However, we do have some states in India which follow the matrilineal customs, for instance, Meghalaya. One distinguishing feature of this society is that after marriage the man is required to “adjust” with his wife in her maternal abode. So, fortunately, we don’t have to encounter the sobbing experience of a bride which happens in the other parts of the country.
Such contrasting practices in one land.
It’s a sad fact that we have progressed as a nation, talking about equal opportunities for men and women but our mindset is regressive.
One question for my readers, since we still follow such obsolete rituals, who is going to fill the void in case a family has daughters only, any thoughts?
And do you think it’s time to change society?